Skip to main content

How to Set Healthy Boundaries

 Relationships can only be healthy when both people have the space to be themselves and maintain their personal integrity. Sadly, many people find themselves in relationships, romantic and otherwise, with people who do not respect boundaries and feel entitled to have their needs met regardless of the other person’s. These people most likely grew up in households that were unsafe and unstable and where there was a constant invasion of personal boundaries.

If you can relate, chances are you have a hard time creating healthy boundaries to create the life experience you wish to have. Here are some ways you can begin to do so:

Identify Your Limits

You can’t set boundaries unless you discover where it is you personally stand. You’ll need to take a bit of time to recognize what you can and cannot tolerate. What makes you happy, and what makes you feel uncomfortable and stressed? Only until you have made these discoveries can you move on to the next steps.

Don’t Be Shy

People who have similar communication styles are easy to engage with. These people will quickly understand what your new barriers are. But people who have a different cultural background or personality may not easily understand your boundaries. With these people, it’s important to be very clear and direct.

Pay Attention to Your Feelings

People who have a hard time setting boundaries don’t often allow themselves to acknowledge their own feelings because they’re usually too busy worrying about everyone else’s.

You’ll need to start recognizing how people make you feel in order to know whether your new boundaries are being crossed or not. When you’re with someone, make mental notes, or even jot down in a journal how that interaction made you feel.

If, after spending time with someone, you feel anger or resentment, this is a sign that the person may be overstepping your boundaries. Reiterate to this person what your boundaries are. If they continue to disrespect you and them, you will want to cut yourself away from further interactions.

Make Self-Care a Priority

Put yourself and your needs first. This may feel strange and even somehow wrong if you’ve spent your entire life taking care of others. Give yourself permission to feel your feelings and get what you need to feel happy and well.

Speak with Someone

If you’ve spent an entire life with a sense of low self-worth, you may find setting boundaries quite difficult. In this case, it’s important to speak with a therapist that can help you discover where these feelings are coming from and how to change your thought patterns and behavior.

If you’d like to explore therapy, please get in touch with us. We would be happy to help you on your journey toward self-care.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How do I know if I need therapy, intensive treatment, or if I should go to the hospital?

  It’s important to be an educated consumer of mental health care and to know what is available to you when you need support, help, and care. When a person has a fever, pain, or notices a change within their body, they know to visit the doctor. When someone breaks a bone, it is well-recognized that the emergency room would be the best place to go. However, when a person is experiencing symptoms of depression, how does one determine whether or not the symptoms are severe enough for hospitalization, rather than outpatient therapy? These two can look very different, and when asked what the levels of care are available within the mental health care system, a person can usually be met with crickets. Although the stigma surrounding mental health is decreasing, there is still a lot to learn about mental health, mental health care, and more specifically regarding the levels of care within mental health. Different levels of care focus on the intensity, complexity, structure, and support tha...
Post a Comment
Read more

Mental Health Benefits from Practicing Yoga

One of our therapists at Health and Healing Therapy, Rae Magnani, discusses the various benefits of yoga, particularly how it can assist mental health. If you are interested in incorporating yoga into your therapy sessions, our practice may have the  right therapists for you !
Post a Comment
Read more

Coping with Anxiety as School Resumes

  Now that the holiday season has come to a close, the beginning of another school semester begins. Each new semester can bring along with it a lot of fear and worry for anxious teens. There are new classes to attend, new teachers to meet, and new classmates to befriend. Sometimes, the stress and worry about the load of school work that may be assigned during the semester can be anxiety provoking as well. Managing this fear, concern, and worry can be difficult. Here are a few ways to help cope with anxiety as school starts up again. It can be overwhelming to think about what the new semester will bring in terms of school work, teachers, and social interactions. Although it can be tempting to want to avoid our anxious thoughts about the upcoming semester, it can also be helpful to tune into those thoughts. Imagine yourself in a stressful or anxiety provoking experience — after imagining that, it can be helpful to think about skills that you have used in the past to help you get thro...
Post a Comment
Read more